Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Testimony of studiousness

Yesterday Chellu gave a glimpse of her dedication & studiousness especially when it comes to doing things she loves. In the evening the girls were busy painting Diyas for Dhanteras. I was in the kitchen busy cleaning and I heard a loud cry from Chellu. A glass bottle of white paint had broken while she was trying to open it and cut a deep gash on the fleshy part of her left hand behind the thumb. After the initial taking care of the wound when I asked her to rest she insisted on continuing with the activity. I left it at that and went about doing my chores. When I returned back after 5 mins or so to check on her , I was shocked at what I saw. The wound was profusely bleeding and Chellu was painting her Diyas with gr8 focus. I was really taken back! When asked she said that it didn't bother her and that she very much wanted to finish painting the diyas. Wow!

I've heard many folks say that unless kids attend school and face the pressure of competition or the exam system they are never going to develop focus, studiousness, sincerity, attention etc..But my kids have always exhibited these qualities time & again from a young age. Playing with blocks or play-dough,doing puzzles, painting , art & craft projects, cutting veggies , helping out in household chores, nature-based acitvity are some of the activities that hook on my children for a long period of time. And I've always been amazed at their attention span and their focus. Its like they forget everything else including hunger! I'm sure this is the case with other kids too as long as we allow them to do what they really like. We tend to term studiousness and such other qualities from the point of "studying" which essentially means the Rs ...its just a Q of changing our perspective again. I remember one time during the IVC co-op class..there were no other kids and Chellu sat through painting the pots for 2 hrs straight. That was last year when she was almost a year younger..I had gotten bored but she had not. Her focus was stunning..so much was going on around her but she refused to take her eyes off the activity..

Im starting to see this trait with Kunju too..2 weeks back while doing the 3 little pigs activity she wanted to build herself houses for the 3 pigs and she did so diligently without anyone's help. I was in the kitchen while Chellu was coloring her house ( again sitting thru one long session)..it would have taken Kunju a good 25 mins or so but she was completely engrossed in it. It was obvious that she had put in a lot of thought cause the end result was stunning! She had indeed built 3 very different looking houses with lotsa attention to detail..the brick house even had a clearly visible chimney. Yesterday when Chellu had gone down to play with Aayush , Kunju was totally engrossed in trying out different dresses for her doll..i had observed that she was doing it for a good 35 mins or so..She didn't want anyone near her.

Another aspect to this focus is their increasing self-reliancy. They seem to need minimum instructions and they can seem to take on the activity completely by themselves. I remember last sunday when they wanted to make a greeting card for my aunt's bday. They were given the chart paper & I left for a long shower. Chellu had decided what she wanted to do and went about completing the entire thing all by herself and it was quite a bit of work given the fact that the greeting card was a huge one. She had selected the " I can draw animals" books and had copied a bunny, lion, dog & turtle along with writing " Happy birthday " & " May god bless you"! This also included completion of coloring the background and adding borders to the pages! With zero help from me..

Self-reliance, focus, sincerity ..When these happen with no carrots or sticks or fear or compulsion or aping ( the other person is doing it so I have to do it) then it is "really" happening. One doesn't have to send their children to school to attain these . And does school really flower these qualities in our children? Carrots & sticks & peer pressure seem to be the dominating factors.

I sincerely believe that we don't have to send kids to school to attain the above qualities. One just needs to trust in the divine intelligence and the divine design that our kids come with and be patient. Everything unfolds gradually at its time & space....Beautifully ...

Friday, October 21, 2011

Trip to bhaji market- the learning afterwards

Two days back I did a lot of shopping in the local bhaji market. The full-time maid has gone away for good ( again!) and now its us again doing all the stuff as a team..the girls have been helping me with washing the bathrooms ( they did a fantastic job really!!) , cutting veggies, serving and cleaning up their toys. Now it was time to pitch in doing all the work that springs in India post-shopping for veggies in the local market..
First & foremost we set about separating the veggies..everything is mixed up becoz plastic bags are now banned in such markets. They set about meticulously separating the okra, beans, green chilies and all such similar looking veggies & packing them in zip-lock bags. It is such an awesome exercise in object recognition, sorting , organizing, size estimation. The girls had to try out a few bags before estimating the right size of the bag for each veggie..Many a times the amount would be too much for the bag they chose.
Then they helped me with the task of picking out curry leaves and methi leaves. The latter was strenuous. We talked quite a bit about farming- they were curious as to why the veggies were so muddy, how it comes to the market etc..
The whole thing would have taken a good 1 hr 15 mins..But they were absolutely engrossed in the exercise..Kunju learnt the names of a few veggies she didn't know earlier. Chellu seemed to get at these things faster. I can definitely see that she understands the task and completes in a much shorter period of time as compared to last year..I've always believed that paper examinations are such a false way of judging a child's progress. Day to day observation in a variety of tasks is more than enuff. The veggie sorting exercise only conformed my beliefs. My girls are definitely getting smarter by the years!!;))..no need of any exams to ratify this!

The past week since the maid's absence has brought us together again as a team when it comes to doing household work. But it does wonders to their focus and sense of belonging & importance in the family. Children really do want to help us out ..this is how it used to be ages back before the formal school system started. When people lived in villages and farms and when everything was literally manual children helped around a lot ...The Charlotte Mason method of Home education highly recommends involving children in household work..she says it helps a lot in character formation.

For me personally its about real education. I see a LOT of value in doing house-work. So much finger co-ordination, so much planning, so much physical fitness is involved. It brings the family together like none other task and I've always seen that the girls feel very very proud when a task is accomplished. Its like as though they really want to be like us and what else is a better way than house-work. They seem to fight much less with each other on such days. Probably becoz doing the work together brings them closer to each other. Self-reliance is a extremely valuable. I would ideally love my girls to be completely self-reliant where they do their own work completely by themselves whether washing clothes or vessels or anything else. HSing should involve knowing how to take care of oneself and the home. Its an extremely valuable thing to know. I am grateful to my maid to have left. She has given our family back what we had lost for a while:))

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Little White Spot- Chellu's story in her own words

This story was created by Chellu when we were in the middle of the Three Little Pigs drama day. She saw the white spot made by the chalk rubbing on the rocking chair's seat and made up this story with great enthusiasm & spontaneity.

Once upon there were four little bears. One day the rocking chair had a white spot. Mommy came and sat on that white spot. The mother's butt got stained with the white spot ( Chellu's words- the mother's butt come white acchu !) The sister comes and sat on the rocking chair. And then the little sister comes and sat on the rocking chair. Then the little sister said to the elder sister " What happened to your bums?". Then the elder sister said to the mom "What happened to your bums?". Then the mother said " This rocking chair had a white magical spot..see my bum..i got it in my bums.. a white spot".

In the evening the daddy comes . The daddy said to all of them "What happened to your bums?" I know what to do to this rocking chair. You have to throw it because this is very dangerous. This spot is very dangerous. Because if you keep it so much day , this rocking chair will have full white spots. This is a magical white spot. Then you will sit ..then your body will stain full white spot, white spot, white spot !!! Then the mommy comes holds one side and the daddy holds one side and they threw it through the window. Then everybody cheers. Then the mommy washed her bums ..the elder sister washed the bums. And the elder sister washed the little sister's bums. All bums are clean. And they put new clothes and gone to walk and happily ever after lived. And put the old clothes in the washing machine. THE END.

Stroll in Aditi Garden- Day 2

As promised to Chellu I finished my cooking real fast today to be able to take the girls to Aditi Garden on our way back from her camp. The girls were very happy & kept reminding me that today there should not hurry.
We visited it from the Deccan Harvest side and chanced upon a tree fully abloom with beautiful orange flowers. A lot of them were fallen down & so it struck me that we could gather these flowers & others to try to make home-made dye/color. The Mystery of Blue is a story book that talks about traditional dye making in India and that's what came to my mind when I saw all the diffn colors of flowers. On sharing my idea with the girls they were as usual very enthusiastic. Chellu immemdiately remembered the name of the little girl in the story as Kanku and we talked a little about it. I chose a shady spot and the girls went about collecting the flowers with great enthusiasm. One thing led to the other & they soon started to collect leaves ( for green), dried leaves ( for brown), pink flowers ( for pink)..Chellu even crushed the pink petals in her fingers & was thrilled to note that pink dye does come out!! then came twigs and seed pods etc..Finally they were off collecting their favorite - baby coconuts and stuffing it into their pockets!

I always love taking them to Aditi Garden and leaving them loose..They invariably end up checking out a lot of plants and other stuff- a lot of observation & reporting and collection happens automatically. I think this is real science. Where one's curiosity is piqued.

After all the collection they wanted a picnic from the snack that Chellu had saved in her camp. We chose a cool spot & sat down. We tried out a small thing from Science Play! I asked the kids to go hug the trees nearby and tell me their experience. They did so & precisely labeled the coconut bark as soft & the other tree as rough. I asked them as to what the tree told them and kunju went" Amma it asked me to take it to the park to do jhoola!" & Chellu went" Amma it asked me to go away from here since there is a lot of smell" ( from the recycled water used to water plants in Magarpatata). When asked what was the uses of trees they gave some very interesting answers..Kunju answered that the coconut tree gave coconut..Chellu gave a few uses of the coconut tree- monkeys use the shell to scoop & eat stuff ( again from a story), the brown hair on top of the coconut can be used in art & craft for representing a brown moon , it can also be painted white & then be used a white moon. then it was Kunju's turn..she said that one can paint their hands with pink paint and make its impressions on the bark..she showed it with action ....I loved their out of the box thinking..this is what i really want !! ;)) We then talked about how villagers use the coconut hair for washing vessels and the ecological sense behind it and recycling of water in Magarpatta.

We talked briefly about what we could do tomorrow when Chellu asked if we could act as animals..She asked us to mention our favorite animals..myself- elephant, her- giraffe & kunju- Rory the tiger ( again from a story)..She mentioned that we could act like these animals waking up in the morning, eating their favorite foods which she mentioned precisely ( sugarcane, leaves from treetops & hunted animals) respectively & then going to sleep in the forest..Then came a request for acting like butterflies back home. Kunju wanted to do drama of amma tiget, appa tiger, akka tiger and thangai ( younger sister) tiger too...Well i guess this evening will see a lot of theater in my house!! :))

We read the "Desert Contest" in the afternoon and talked a lot about desert life, how diffn life forms conserve water,God's wonderful & clever design, water scarcity etc...

I look forward to another day at Aditi Garden! One of my favorites of HSing..Nature study. :))

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Trusting the Divine Design- Taking Role-Play seriously

Chellu & Kunju are sooooooooooooooooooooooo busy these days ..they've been playing together like crazy , sometimes the whole day to the oblivion of everything else including me. What have they been unto? ROLE-PLAY. They just immerse themselves into it & sail of to another times whether they are in a diffn land, in diffn characters..they becomes moms & dads, hotelwallas, relatives, doctors, nurses, teachers ,animals, even God sometimes & what not. Every lay item becomes a something else. The grill on the window becomes a chimney, a rope hanging from a door becomes a milking cow!!!!, empty oil bottles become perfect for water-play, the sofa is often a train or an airplane , Appa's belt is a snake, Amma's dupatta is the leash of a dog ( Kunju is always the dog & Chellu always the owner taking her dog on a walk!) , blocks become chutney & sauce bottles, toys become various foods..the list is endless..unimaginable!I once caught the girls making beautiful Rangoli designs from leaves , another day they were busy scrubbing the terrace floor from their small shrubs that they had turned into a floor brush, another day making perfectly symmetrical structures from cloth-pins, tents from bed-sheets , giving perfect oil maalish to their dolls & bathing them, again the list is endless....

So many books on HSing from the western thought pool talk about how parents must include role-play in thier children's lives. They say we must have diffn types of costumes and ask our children to take on those roles. It benefits their imagination, their creativity , their vocabulary , their observation...Amen! I agree a 100% ..only that in my house ( and I'm sure in most other children too who are left to lead a child's life) this happens automatically..All I have to do is to take a step back and let it happen or participate in it as requested ..Also allow that they use anything in the house according to their wish including my masala- dabba.

This afternoon pre-lunch they collected a lot of bags ( torn bags, zipper-less bags)and were furiously packing them including dolls for children, food, clothes , toys and many sundry items. When asked they said they were going on a trip to Africa! I was like what???? They board the "bus" ( how funny is that??) and the rest of the game included all the stuff they did while on-board. Like feeding their baby, eating, collecting fallen items & rearranging their stuff, buying food on stations etc...

Yesterday we went to Aditi Garden on our way back from Chellu's camp. It was meant to be a casual stroll amongst the trees but turned out to be another fun-filled, rather serious role-play. They chose a spot amongst the trees as their house & asked me to be thier guest for dinner. I " call" them and fix a time for dinner. In the meantime Chellu chose the bark of a fallen tree as her "tava" and went about collecting all sorts of leaves and other stuff for cooking . Kunju invited me to their house , chose a large stone as the seat ( ouch my bum still hurts from all the sitting!) then meticulously searched the surroundings for plateware. A perfectly flat stone becomes a plate, a small elongated stone becomes the cup for water , another stone for orange juice , a dry eucalyptus leaf becomes the spoon. The sisters serve me " paneer pakodas"!!!! with great care and revel in my praises..all while talking in fluent, perfect Hindi. Previous to this they chose the open amphi-theater for thier picnic spot and ate apples from Chellu's snack while singing " Hum do chalne lage" ( from Jab we met) loudly , much to the curiosity of the onlookers. Then they chose the stage of the amphi-theater for dancing & singing & giving various other performances including reciting shloks. Ofcourse I am always the ever-praising, clapping audience.

In the midst of all this we observed many jumping frogs , collected coconuts, observed flowers and admired nature. When asked why the frog's skin looked just like mud Chellu said " camouflage" & when asked what that means she said " matching matching"..We talked about God's design, how He takes care of every single creature and the wonder of His creation.

To anybody else what we did yesterday would hardly seem like any learning. But for me it was HUGE. HSing to me is basically trusting God's divine design which essentially means letting children be children. I started out as a freakishly stressed out, worried mom who thought that HSing means replicating school at home. And these past two years I've moved from that to a mom who is more trusting of what God has designed my children to be at their various stages. And this means taking play very very seriously. If the girls are busy playing I will take a step back & watch. Never interfere with " come lets do studies". Its started to dawn on me & Mahesh that if we want to school them , then its better they attend school. Its ridiculous to try to be a teacher at home. Very stressful actually. And not at all organic. If children are left to themselves without TV they achieve far more than we can even imagine. But only if we are ready to trust in Divine design and value what they do. Not estimate everything from our adult point of view which basically values everything according to their future or a job or an outsider's( adult's) perception.

So many people Q me about syllabus. What's my routine? From when to when do I sit for studies? These Qs come from a lack of understanding of children in essence. What's studies to us? The 3 Rs. Anything apart from that? Do we ever try to understand SERIOUSLY this world from a 5 yr old's perspective ? From a 3 yr old's perspective & then go about learning ???I don't think so.That's the most unjust part of today's children's lives. We as adults refuse to be children but we expect the vice-versa all the time. Never let children be children. If they are playing in the park its a waste of time. Role-play is timepass. Playing in the mud is dirty work. But yes "workbooks" are a must. Can she read? can she write? Kitna counting karthi hai? Addition aathaa hai? Kaunsa classes mein jaathi hai? Our estimation of human intelligence is so pathetic , so limited. Everything has value only from an adult's perception. We fill our children's days with school and the rest with classes. Free time practically dosen't exist. And thus the ability to be children also vanishes. So if a kid gets up early and boards the school bus , attends school, then does his home-work to be followed by extra-curricular classes and has a sprinkling of play time then his day is very meaningful. Again this justification is purely from a adult's point of view . We get up , go to work, come back , see tv and sleep off. Everything else is not good enough. The same thing applies to our kids too..Basically they are mini-adults from age 2.

For me intelligence in my children is their ability to imagine the most weird things, bring it to life, plan the events of their play, turn mundane things into various objects...Can we even imagine doing something like that? How come we don't see great value in this? And whether its a slum kid or a village kid or a kid attending expensive International School all they REALLY want to do is play and if they are kids of Chellu & Kunju's age then its role-play. By allowing them to do what comes naturally to them we enable them to tap at the utmost ability what intelligence at that age is meant to be. When they are at their most imaginative & creative stage , we force them to think logically & then when its time for them to be logical at a much later stage , we ask them to come up with creativity & out of the box thinking. How is that gonna happen?

A close HSing friend of mine has a 10 yr HSed daughter who has now started attending school.And she says that child is doing wonderfully well. The child has spent her childhood very meaningfully playing a lot and doing things that interest her. No strict curricula, schedules this that. The child is actually very enthusiastic to learn, very studious. Her mother attributes to it her daughter having had her share of childhood in its entirety.

And that's what regales my heart THE MOST about my children skipping school. They are such happy kids getting their right to play and be kids without any intervention. Of course we do arts & crafts and reading & writing and drama & what not. But everything happens organically, according to their pace & interest. Many days flash by in playing non-stop, experimenting non-stop , quenching one's curiosity non-stop...and these days are the most productive according to me..cause science, language, drama, geography, happen automatically. All I have to do is shift my persepective and see value in what they do.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

My lone time with Kunju

Today Chellu left for the first day of Diwali camp. So it was me & Kunju and I decided to make it special for her, which of course means giving my 100% time to her. We started with reading stories, then doing puzzles , rhymes, action songs & then finally playing shaadhi-shaadhi with me as the boy & her as the girl. She loved every moment of it & I could clearly see that she was basking in the attention...away from her sister it felt like she was somewhat different. More spontaneous, more focused, basking in every minute of attention. She made some very quick answers for some of the Qs I asked.
The shaadhi shaadhi game was really funny. We get married then go home. She prepares my dabba in the morning and gives me directions to get to work ( go on Magarpatta road, the a garden will come & in that is a office. You walk straight in there) and then she will get ready in the evening to go to eat pizza!!! hahaha! I had such fun..we had to go in the lift and then in the bus to Pune (!!) and the to the restaurant. This is one cycle and then the next cycle repeats with getting married again. We must have done this like 4-5 times!!
I loved my 2.6 hrs with her. I don't even remember the last time I've spent quality lone time with Shreedhari. It felt very different spending time with a single child like after ages..And i think Kunju has never got this from unfortunately. I feel very guilty about this from time to time and I think this Diwali camp of Chellu will give me the chance to do something about it. I look forward to another day of me and Kunju time. It was awesome and the delight in her eyes is worth every moment of it.
But what really surprised me is Kunju's reaction when Chellu left for the camp. She was wailing aloud that she didn't want to be left alone at home with me. She kept saying that amma will not play with her...hmmm..for the guilt I have gone through for not spending lone time with Kunju!!! Isn't it ridiculous? That we torture ourselves over parenting and these kids are on a totally different tangent!!! ;)) The sisters love each others' company and are soon becoming "two bodies one soul". Good for me! :))

Monday, October 17, 2011

Three little pigs- drama

We attempted the narration and drama of Three Little Pigs. Chellu told the story quite well in English . We then did the drama beautifully. The girls absolutely loved it and they were begging for more by the end of it. Chellu suggested that we do the reverse story of the Three Little wolves and the big fat pig. I acted like though I had forgotten the story and then she recounted the whole thing back to me. We did the drama and that was also such a hit. What's amazing me is the active participation, understanding & enthusiasm of Kunju. She is clearly getting very involved and if given a chance she always attempts whether she knows the stuff or not. Her attempts at narration of the story in English is really hilarious but worth a lot of admiration!

The best part of the drama was when Kunju acted like the wolf trying to climb down the chimney. She aptly chose to climb up the grill of the window above the sofa. She would come down slowly and then climb up again very fast..she kept doing this several times..and when asked why , she replied" Oh Im scared that Ill fall into the boiling water and burn my bums!!! " We had such a hearty laugh. Chellu then arranged the pillows like the big pots and the girls kept doing the wolf falling into the water several times!! It was such fun watching them...kids are so good at imagination.

The it struck them that they should add the fireplace and the pot to the drawing of their house and they did so. Chellu answered correctly when I asked her the use of the chimney!

Then we played the thing- its house game to which the girls answered correctly.

Overall a very wonderful HSing day!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Chellu's first self-written letter

I'm back . Chellu made me do so. Yesterday was one of those days when in the middle of the day , it felt like HSing my girls was such a privilege to me. . To witness their "firsts" in its totality and spontaneity . We were doing the Three Little Pigs story activity and Chellu talked beautifully about her house. While doing so it stuck her that she could also add a pool and a playground which she did so promptly. At that moment we made the connection again ( which was kinda lost due to a fight between her & Kunju & me getting angry with her)and she came to me excitedly admitting that when she talks or says things aloud a lot of new ideas come to her head. And we talked about it and connected big time.
She then said she wanted paper to write a letter to me and wrote a letter on her own ( invented spelling style). It said "Mom I am sorry"!!! I would love to freeze that moment..cause this was the first written communication from her in the real sense. One that conveyed her feelings . Isn't this why writing was invented at all? To put on a solid interface what one can't say otherwise?
Then came 3 other letters which said " Mom you are beautiful", " Mom your house is beautiful" and " Mom I love you!" Which then lead to Kunju giving Chellu her own 3 "letters" and Chellu also writing a letter to Kunju which said " Kunju you are so beautiful & kind".
The joy, the connection, the enthusiasm, the pride, the love & excitement in their eyes made it history of sorts for me. We go about begging our children to write in workbooks etc..and forget that true writing happens when its personal. When thigns are made personal then children will be very enthu to write. Whether it's making b'day cards or sorry letters or diwali greetings , they are always enthusiastic.
Yesterday was truly a historic moment for me. It has again convinced me that its best to drop things temporarily ( especially academic stuff) with little children and focus on what's interesting for them. Then one day they surprise you BIG time with their abilities.
Im extremely proud of my little girl. She wrote all her letters completely by herself with captions. And I also realized that she writes when left alone. My presence next to her breaks her focus , her drive & enthusiasm to write. My constant corrections frustrate her & end up turning her writings from personal to robotic. That's definitely not true learning.
I shall certainly remember yesterday for the rest of my life. It was a major milestone for us. :))