Graveyard Lessons

Graveyard lessons:

Last to last week we ended up at the Museum of the San Ramon Valley first in the morning at ten but a week earlier for a field trip . I had messed up with the dates. At first I was very disappointed, having driven all the way ! Wasn't sure what to do? We had lots of time till soccer later that day.

But the docent at the museum was very kind enough to spend time with me and show me all the activities we could engage in. So she handed us a passport book that we could use to enhance our learning. She pointed to many places in the neighborhood that we could visit and we took off. We had a good 3-4 hours in our hands before we had to head south for soccer. 

We went looking for the plaque that commemorates the first visit of the Spanish to what is present day Danville. Instead we ended up at the local historical cemetery! And guess what? We decided it give it a look. Being a HSEr mom for all these years I have started looking upon everything as a learning opportunity. I can only see what is there to learn? Nothing is a waste of time, nothing is out of topic. 

Shruthkirti was especially excited to do the passport book. It had a section where the exercise was to locate certain graves of pioneers and note down their birth and death dates. Seriously I would never imagined doing something like this EVER! Visiting andd studying a graveyard. As soon as we started the visit , questions started to pour.  I love those moments of extreme curiosity . It's like a volcano , pouring out all sorts of questions. Like a hot Tava, just ready to make dosas. Anything you say or do at that moment is absorbed like a sponge. 

We had discussions covering questions like what is death, is death a bad thing? How does our Vedic culture view death?, how is it different from the western viewpoint, incarnation,  the purpose of life, cremation vs burial etc...so many topics that I would have otherwise never thought of talking about for that day were touched upon..that's the beauty of being open to learning all day through, of learning through living.

When children surprise you out of the blue !

Days like today will always be special. Not because we learned something exciting or did something great or went somewhere exciting but because first thing in the morning the children surprise you.

Today in the morning , first thing when the girls they got up, they went straight into the bathroom and had a bath! First thing in the morning! No repeated requests from me, no yellings , no ultimatums , no lectures ..nothing. Just their own initiative. I love such days. And we have had many like that . Where they would get up before me and clean up their room. Last Saturday too, Shridhari got up, bathed, brushed and had combed her hair by herself even before I had opened my eyes. One other morning, the sisters had got up earlier than everybody else and had decided to clean up their room. When I  Igot up I was pleasantly surprised with a spic and span room.

I have read in several places. That contrary to popular belief , young children do want to cooperate, they do want to please their parents. It's a natural drive for them. It does seem hard to believe, but once a while on a day like this I am again reminded that my children want to genuinely want to be on my side. They genuinely do want to cooperate . It just takes time and lots of faith that we need to do what we as parents believe in , give the children lotsa of time to digest it, to understand it and then they will certainly get it someday. Love and connection are the main things.

Tonight just before putting them to sleep I made it a point to mention the fact that I was indeed very happy and pleasantly surprised to have seen them bather by themselves so promptly first thing in the morning. Shridhari immediately replied, " Today after entering the bathroom it struck me that not by not bathing we seem to trouble amma a lot . She has to constantly keep reminding us. And so I thought I should save her those troubles and quickly had a bath when I'm in the mood for it now. Later during the day I may lose the mood!"

Look how far Shreedhari has come!

From a kid who often has trouble walking or rather doesn't likes to walk, Kunju has always come across as this kid who would never want to physically exert herself.  But she has been progressing slowly and steadily. The way she has overcome her illness in itself a miracle. But bigger than that is her taking the efforts, sometimes self willing and sometimes not to become more physically active. She has been taking baby steps and slowly, steadily getting there. I will never forget that one time when she left me spellbound with her hike up the Shivaji Maharaj fort . It was a good one hour and quite a steep one but she was doing it all like a professional.

Time and again I've been reminded through the HSing journey that it's so wrong to label anyone. We are so conditioned to do it. This is like this, that one is like that. And we so often do that with our own kids. But from my observations, I've learnt that every individual takes the time to get wherever they want. For Shreedhari it could be the connection , to be with those she really cares for and do the things that they like to do.

But most recently her great enthusiasm in participating in the HS PE class playing soccer has really surprise me. She loves to play games really and kick ball. And last week I was totally throw back watching her participate in the Presidential Fitness Campaign . I thought she would whine and cry and not like it all but the way she participated was something else. She enthusiastically did the sprint, the running, the stretches and everything else. And seemed to really enjoy it too! She loves to play sports it looks like. But I think it has also got to do with the kind of teachers or adults who hang out in such places. She always seems comfy in a HSing setting and always seems to need me to hover around somewhere in the background. As long as I am there watching her ,  she seems ready to go for it. 

I can't believe we have arrived here!

For the past few days omething I've been waiting for ages is finally happening in our HSing lives. Chellu reading to Kunju! And that  too for  r hours!, oh gosh..how much would I have waited for this all this time? It all started with Kunju complaining that Chellu gets to read a book all by herself and all the yummy books that she picks by herself sat the library. Off late Shruthkirti has been reading a LOT by herself..sometimes spending half a day jn her room with a book and that obviously makes Shreedhari all by herself, something she is not used to.

When I heard the comment the first thing I did was go into HSing mode..wow this was my cnance really! So I went " you can do it too if you learned to read" but I i guess it was not reading bu the connection with her sister that Kunju was really looking for. Chellu sense it immediately and jumped in saying " I can read for you!" And that's it..it's been two days now since the sisters have been spending huge chunks of time in their room with one reading to the other.

Which then leads me to spend time blogging and doing things that have been on my to do list for a long time. I guess I will enjoy this while it lasts! You never know what's @ the corner!! 😉

But yes , jokes apart it gives me immense pleasure to see my elder reading the way she is. She literally gobbles up books in no time. She can never get up without finishing a book in one go. Something I did or rather " did not "certainly was right!

Sanskrit Bharathi classes

Today is a very special day in our family with the girls starting their first, formal, teacher ( that's not their mom or dad) led Sanskrit classes at the Samskrita Bharathi - a non profit organization that aims to create a community of Sanskrit speaking families. Sanskrit known as the mother of all languages , the language  of our scriptures and our rich Vedic culture and knowledge is known to enhance cognitive development and improve math and science skills.
The girls were super happy to be in their classes in the company of kids like themselves and with uncles and aunties from India. It made me realize how much they missed home. Samskrita Bharathi teachers were a cheerful andf encouraging lot. Apart from regular classes they also organize 3 days camps of Sanskrit speaking families, potlucks, picnics and what not with everyone speaking Sanskrit. It was such an unique , happy experience to be hearing so much of the language in a common man world sort of a way and not just as chants.
I also realized that the girls knew so much of the language whether as conversational Sanskrit or shlokas with my novice attempts at teaching them the language over the past few years. I have done pretty well I must say and very proud of myself ! :)) hoping that this tryst with Sanskrit wil take us a long way in understanding ourselves and our origins.

Ballet comes true at last

Another of those " Connecting the dots experience".  The girls , particularly Shruthkirti got hooked on to ballet a couple of months back. It all started back in Pune with the BCL ( British Council Library ) where she chanced upon a few books on ballet and eventually got highly attracted to it. I don't know what it is about ballet. It used to baffle me back in Pune as to how smnght like ballet can attract their attention where there is no environment for it?

 But years of HSing has taught me to never Q learning. Why, how, when, which form it will take place in cannot be questioned or really understood. I've started looking at it as an indulgence of the soul at that moment . If left to complete freedom then true learning according to me is the soul's undertaking to immerse itself in all the experiences that it deems fit to progress for this lifetime.

This is what happened with ballet . It started with Shruthkirti and spread to Shreeddhari too like a virus. They got hooked on to it starting with a few books, then it went on to researching on YouTube..they checked out all sorts of performances and know the story of the Nutcracker very well. They even know various versions of the Nutcracker that's commonly performed by various ballet groups. They have been begging me for ballet classes for a while now.

Andd then the US shift happens and here we are attending ballet classes every Thursday. And so to finally see them actually wear the ballet dress and the tutu and do the dance is such a heartwarming moment for me. My eyes welled up once again to be able to experience yet another profound learning journey! And in last class the ballet teacher came up to me and told me that Shruthkirti has a body that's perfect for ballet! No wonder she has been so attracted to it all this while!!

It's all about connecting the dots

It's all about connecting the dots! While I've always experienced learning as this start to finish line in the form of exams, HSing has let me experience learning as an indulgence ..in what the spirit seeks to learn at that moment. It could be the most weirdest thing you would never be able to plan or come up in a curriculum and result in the most unimaginable outcome.

That's what is happening most recently with Shruthkirti. Last year after attending the IHC Khandala HSers conference she got fixated with learning a few songs from the song book that was prepared for the bonfire nights. She got especially attracted to " Raindrops on roses."from Sound of Music. It became an obsession. She spent days on it- knew it by heart, wrote it down line by line , went on YouTube to learn it perfectly , learnt the spellings and then ended up seeing the movie like a zillion times. And then we moved here and came across auditions for the Roberta Jones Junior  Theater's fall production. Shruthkirti who has been into theater for the past 3 yrs obviously jumped in glee and we found ourselves in the auditions. They required her to sing a song in addition to dancing and acting and obviously the only English song that she knew from start to finish is guess what? " Raindrops on roses.." She went up on the stage and sang it so confidently ! Watching her at that moment brought me tears. The Director of the theater then commented that it was so incredible that someone who moved in to a totally new country can go on stage and sing so confidently ! Little did he know the amount of time that has been spent on this one song!
Her rehearsals her in full swing for 3 roles she got selected in. Like a professional she has got her conflict calender sorted out and now the costumes are soon to be stitched! I always find these learning journeys incredible.

Missing Amma and Appa on their birthday - family and it's gifts

A very happy birthday to my dearest parents - Appa and Appa whose birthdays fall on consecutive days- Aug 31st & Sept 1st respectively..I really do miss being @ with them in Pune and celebrating with the entire gang..I owe everything I am to them and words can never describe my gratitude to them for all that they have done for me and still doing starting from giving me the most precious gift of this life. Every single positive trait I have has been passed down by them either through virtue of their genes :)) or through their parenting. And the many negatives I don't have has also not come to my life , thanks to them. And yet no matter how much I will try , it will be a long time before I can catch up.
When I reflect upon those days of parenting when materialistic comfort was scare, family pressures were huge , I wonder how did they manage? As present day parents we have so much , yet it seems so hard!
Can we EVER find words to thank our parents? No wonder our Vedic culture says " Mathru Devo Bhava", " Pithru Devo Bhava" ( Mother is God, Father is God). I wish them many more years of fantastic health and happiness.

Had we been in India we would have done a huge cake cutting with Dhriti, Akkachoo and Manavaa. It would have been such a great celebration! I really do miss being in India.  

 And ever since being in California it's been striking me again and again that the girls have got so much from staying with family all these years. They time and again remember everyone, sometimes even cry and ask to return back to India at the earliest. And it makes me so happy to see that there is that emotional attachment , that " Bhava" in them that Dadaji talks about all the time. Actually being in India , you really can't escape it. People kinda grow on you, inspire of their interference ..sometimes it feels like too much but then it also brings with it attachment and love., a feeling of wanting to be with others, like others matter. I still vividly remember  that moment when the girls told bye to Appa at the Mumbai airport . It had such a strongman emotional feeling to it. That's when it struck me that these girls are not gonna be @ family for a long time now and how much they are gonna miss!! 

Being with everybody brings in so much growth, so much maturity. It's a part and parcel of learning. Children have always grown up @ their grandparents and extended family. It provides such a strong sense of identity , of belonging and makes well adjusted kids who understand that everything in the world doesn't have to according to ones wishes and yet one can learn to be happy. Here I feel kinda uprooted. Probably also becoz I have to start from scratch building my own community. Family especially strikers as crucial when one is in trouble.i still remember that day when we came to know that Mahesh is in the hospital in Kolkkata and how in a jiffy everyone was at our doorstep and I could just take off like that without having to worry about the kids at all. That couldn't have been possible anywhere else except for India. 

I really do hope for my children to have family with them always as they grow up. Their cry for Dhriti is so endearing. It really warms my heart, it convinces me that they are in the right path. They care and want others. What more could I ask for?

Tree climbing

Today we had been to Serra Park with the HSers and the girls had a great time climbing the local tress , searching for wild berries. Chellu went up and up with no fear whatsoever , targeting for the berries while Kunju stayed down collecting the falling ones. The latter then made a halwa out of the fruits with a stick as a spatula and then they gulped it down , again with a stick that served as a spoon. My wild girls! Love them to bits!!
Their love for tree climbing stated out in Magarpatta itself. Jasminium with its small trees served as an ideal setting for these girls..I fact along with tree climbing they have also been upto a lot of tree related activities like decoration, tent building etc..
When we arrived in California a month ago, they were thrilled to have found the perfect tree to climb in chitappa-chitti's house. It was not only tall but also had the branches at all the perfect spots for easy climbing. They climbed almost every day during our stay there.

I really feel so positive about the romancing with nature. This is even better than all those formal nature studies.,maybe that will surface as an interest some say but for mow at this young age all they really need is to be in open green spaces, next to tall trees and lotsa vegetation. Love for nature will be born automatically!

Clay mess and all the learning from it.

Two days back the girls decided to get the air dry clay that Pallavi had given them and experiment with it. They set out in the balcony and soon they completely got wild with it. I was on ethe phone with Nirali and before I knew it they had dissolved the whole thing in water and were literally swimming in it. Must have been a whole lot of fun for them but it was certainly a horrible mess by the end of the whole session!

If it were Pune I would have been calm, but here in Santa Clara didn't know how the hell I was gonna clean this , without pissing off the neighbors below! Had a stern talk with the girls and told them clearly that everything needs to be spic and span like before. I had to tempt with a piece of cake as their reward if they got it done properly. I really had no other way out..it was such a horrible mess!

And they got to work instantly. They cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. For almost. An hour and half. They would take breaks but eventually get to work. While chellu worked on the floor , scrubbing and soaking up all liquid into a bucket , kunju worked on the glass doors. It was really hard work. And they worked on it till I gave the good enough signal.

When I observe these things, I feel like life is really the best teacher. The cleaning job was such an interesting lesson in itself. You know, they had to constantly improvise to find smarter ways of cleaning up the mess..would this towel be better, can I brush it this way, can we collaborate with each other , how much water to use? And finally the most valuable lesson" always use a tarp before messing @ "!!!

Nai Talim - Konkan

We got to attend this year's Nai Talim as well. It was indeed a last minute decision since I was a little apprehensive about going alone with the girls in on overnight bus. But! It all turned out to be an amazing experience from the start to the end. The overnight sleeper bus got the first squeal of delight from all of us! Had never seen anything like this before- a bus with only beds , no seats!
Anyways we arrived the next morning in Kudal and got a ride from a co-passenger when my auto didn't arrive to pick me up. Such things can happen only in India. You can trust a complete stranger and things happen very spontaneously. Everything doesn't have to be planned ! Our next stop was in the local fruit and flower market. There were a group of aajis selling flowers and when I asked them if they could take care of my luggage & the girls while I shopped @ for fruits, they promptly agreed! I don;t know where else in the world such things can happen? This is the benefit of living in a "developing country" - not being so "developed" has retained a great level of humanity & love in our folks. Looking out for each other comes naturally..no one is really a stranger here. And a mother with two young children is instantly helped. That's why I love this country. You are NEVER alone.

New Education:
Finally we reached our destination and wow ! The sight of the Nai Talim camp was really something: folks pitching tents, the beautiful Arabian sea right next to us, the silvery sand, familiar faces, children steeped in sand play! The sessions started and each one was a gem in itself. The five days of Nai Talim was really in every sense " NAI TALIM" or " New Education". We learned things no one ever mentioned in the schools or colleges or anywhere else. Whether Mukundji's recount of the tribal Gond community or Guruji's brilliant overview of the robust rural systems of India or Neelkant mama's talk on his life as a Shepard  each and every word  was brimming with true knowledge, love and passion. One never felt like getting up from the sessions. There was so much churning happening- so many Qs raised..especially on where we are headed as a country or individual, is so called  "development" really what we need for our country, are our rural systems devoid of any knowledge, have we been really under-developed all this while that we need to get "developed", what are the lives and knowledge systems of our ancient folks, our tribals? So many thoughts, so much pondering.  Makes one wonder as to whether the education we have received is of any use at all- it neither teaches us to co-exist with others nor with the environment @ us. We are the uneducated ones completely lacking skills & creativity, not our rural or tribal folks. We have so much to learn from them.

The sessions did an amazing thing for me. It cleared out all my doubts about where India stands in terms of development. Having left the States 4 yrs back, there are times when I question our decision for ourselves and our children? Did we do the right thing leaving the States? Aren't we shutting out a host of opportunities? Guruji's talk made it crystal clear for me- that the future is really in the past. We are highly developed just the way we were. Our rural systems had perfected it all in a sense. It is our aping of the west , our big cities culture, our current education that has dug the grave for us. And it is this co-existence with nature, others and ourselves that everybody has to return to. Where every family is an entrepreneur, a nature conservationist, a factory, an educator ,  an owner and a laborer. This is how our folks have lived and prospered for ages but yet we are clamoring @ in darkness looking for solutions as our standards of what is development and good for us has been set by others.

Unique Learning :
While the adults were immersed in true education , the kids were having a grand time by themselves. This year's Nai Talim recreated the wonderful system of "Gotul" that is commonly seen in tribal villages. Gotul is the center of a tribal community where children are educated. Nai Talim's Gotul served as the community center for the kids. They hung out with each other , slept together with no adult intervention what so ever. The sessions planned for them also followed the Gotul culture. The children were engaged in interesting activities like shell collection and jewelry making, math & science activities, magic show, pottery, learning music from the Kalkeri students, Bharatnatyam session , story-telling , and of course splashing in the sea. Whether learning from a potter or music from the Kalkeri  children with the sea as the backdrop,  it was indeed an unique learning experience for the children. The freedom in the physical environment & mental space, the company of  interesting & compassionate adults & ages from all ages, social strata , backgrounds and countries, the endless opportunities for play in the sand, the swimming in the sea ( While Chellu learned to swim like a fish in the sea, Kunju spent hours lost in her interactions with the sand & the sea) , the constant rendezvous with the beach ( its creatures - living and dead ), the endless chats over meals, visit to the nearby fishermen village, living in the tents, usage of dry toilets and bathrooms..everything together offered a classic learning opportunity for the children & adults alike .From true socialization to adjusting to a different way of life in tune with nature, the five days of Nail Talim drenched our children & us,  in meaningful learning that ages of schooling can't even dream to!

Red Flags:
This year's Nai Talim raised many red flags for us to ponder about. Claude Alvaris's talk on the damages of the tourism industry on Goa's fragile eco-system as well as our interactions with the local fishermen's village
made us aware of how the locals are being punished for no fault of theirs. Trawling, global climate, tourism, breaking of traditional practices in fishing has wreaked havoc in the fisherman's life forcing him to shift to the cities to fend for himself. It felt very sad and frustrating at the same time. And it is the same story everywhere-farming, pottery, weaving, fishing..every traditional occupation is being threatened because of globalization. It's really greed at the bottom of all this. While our traditional societies learned to fend for themselves while being in complete unison with nature, our modern societies are pushing everyone to the brink of existence, especially the rural & ancient societies for no fault of theirs. The sessions sowed the seeds of introspection & reflection. Also augmented with it were the visits to the local fisherman's village & learning about their life and struggles. It is a great reality check , especially for us urban folks!
Personally it was also very thrilling for me to learn that the village is a Swadhyay village when I saw the words "Jay Yogeshwar" written on the door-steps of one of the homes. I got to go back for a one on one visit with a family - the connection was instant! As Swadhyayees we bonded immediately and it was amazing to know how their lives were impacted by Swadhyay.

Nai Talim Family:
Unlike last year, this time @ all of us stayed together for the entire duration of the shivir- cooked, cleaned, washed, made homes & did whatever was necessary for the workshop together. This created a very close bond and by the end of the 5 days it felt like one big family. I felt nostalgic about leaving everyone the last day. Living in the same space gave way to meaningful conversations with each other and we got to interact and build relationships with so many people from different walks of life. Where else would I have got to meet folks like Robin, Raefel, or Mary? The gem was indeed knowing Aishwarya, a member of the Hijada community up-close and personal. Where else would we have ever got to know someone like her? Learning about her life, her struggles, her dreams brought in such a strong sense of oneness for me. We are all JUST THE SAME albeit our differences in our external appearances.

Motivation and More motivations:
Karan's talk on his attempt at urban organic farming & his probing into fears & insecurities, Indulkarji's discussion on his tribal school in the Western Ghats, the Kalkeri Sangeet Vidyalaya..all these were so motivating ! Right in front of us were folks who had followed their heart's calling & broken away from fears & doubts . These are the true teachers- the ones who can beckon you to dream beyond your conditioning. I enjoyed each and every talk immensely. It was also amazing to see so many young folks from all sorts of backgrounds carving their own unique paths in life.

The five days of Nai Talim felt like home for me. Like " my people, my community".  At the end of it all I was filled with so much hope and motivation. That change is possible and is already in the works. I do sincerely hope for cementing my relationships with all the folks I met there for ages to come- for myself and for my family. I had a hard time adjusting back to my routine, urban life in Pune. My eyes would well up when remembering Sachin, Meenal & Mrunal and the Nai Talim family. I'm extremely grateful for having known each and everyone of them...